I was overweight and obese most of my adult life and neither acceptance or encouragement to change made much difference in my motivation or ability to find the solution to it.
I can’t speak for every obese person out there; every person is different. I’m also not sure whether the “should’s” in your answer are ultimately aimed at the betterment of society or well being of the individual obese people.
On a very macro level, I don’t think society should be accepting of obesity any more than it is alcoholism, drug abuse, depression, or other ailments that respond well to the sufferer’s own efforts to recover withhelp. When I say society “shouldn’t be accepting” I mean they shouldn’t regard these things as healthy or desirable.
The thing is, without doingsever violence to individual liberties, obesity is not something society can solve. Obesity has to be solved, one obese person at a time, with the full cooperation and willingness of the individual. Society can provide ways to be there to help, with education and support, but it isn’t something anyone can just do for someone else.
Society can pass laws to lessen racial discrimination, and we can vaccinate children against some deadly diseases, but we can’t realistically do that sort of thing with obesity.
I believe it is only a matter of time before it becomes very common for employers to refuse to hire or retain obese people. This is already happening with smokers. I don’t have a problem with that. We are transitioning into a society where health care is the responsibility of society, usually via the employer, so the people paying the bill will have some say in who they pay the bill for. Choice and responsibility are intertwined in a just society.
I wrote a post Why is the government buying soda for people? by Eric Lauritzen on Common Sense Weight Loss about the way government is basically subsidizing junk food and soda while contributing to the problem of obesity among the poor. The obvious solution is to stop, and only supplement nutritious foods. I imagine most would agree, but there are people out there who find the position intolerable. At least one commenter couldn’t live with the idea of poor people not being able to buy soft drinks and potato chips the taxpayer’s dime. So, while society can’t really solve the problem, we can at least learn to stop collectively being enablers.